I am The King!


It was Katta Misamma! All in yellow and smiling big! She looked so benevolent and happy! So many people in bright saris carrying those nice colored pots on their heads were standing in long queues. The only men around were the ones in white trying to control the traffic and regulate the flow of people. Too boring for a weekend! Press!

An old lady was singing. She was wearing a dull half-white, light yellow, pastel white Salwaar with some nondescript designs. She kept on adjusting her duppatta which was as unsettled as the BSE. She was singing “Vaishnava Janatho” an old bhajan that Gandhiji liked a lot. The way she was singing now Gandhiji would hate the song from today. Why all this now? Press!

Now these Chinese come in. Just a group of normal Chinese in their traditional black coats and black trousers. They were walking in two rows. Each was holding a stick from which was hanging a red light. There was this child that had this hugely chubby cheeks. It was licking a big yellow lollipop that had a red line that circled to the centre. This makes me hungry. Press!

Ofcourse they were sitting in a semi circle. That’s how they all sit. They all seemed like poets. What language is it? Yes, Malayalam. Two of them were females who seemed extremely dissatisfied with the others. Two were old men who ignored everyone else. Of the two young men, one was interested only in his nails while the other was gesticulating to press home his point. All the men wore beards of different hues & stages of growth. How nice! Press!

That was a list of things – Potatoes 1 KG, Tomatoes ½ KG, Chillies 50 gms, Jeera + something + something 25 gms and many things more. The lady was dressed is a bright pattu sari. She was chubby and fat. She must have set the world record for hitting the BMI on the wrong side. She was saying that kids will love this dish. I believed her. Press!

It was dark. He was wearing a long black coat. He was tall, handsome and wore a beard. He had red, yellow and blue beads hanging out of his minor pigtail that kept dangling on his face. He looked tense – and rightfully so – He was brandishing a long knife. Keeping himself in shadows, he walked up to the bed of the sleeping child. He raised his knife! Demon! Rakshasha! I hate these things. It is a child for heavens sake! Press!

She looked grim for a long moment. She said that on the whole it was a great effort. I have no comments to make but will come down, she said. Came down she did and hugged the girl dressed as a flower and the guy dressed as a grasshopper. Gosh! These competitions! I hate them! Press!

That’s a definite four! The light-blued shorty really could not run as fast as the ball. He did a last bid effort & jumped at the ball, but the ball just glided past his fingers for a tantalizing four. The batsman raised his bat in a salute. The Batsman was wearing a Green shirt. Chee! Press!

Rajiv Gandhi was staring out without any expression from behind a single mike that had written AIR on it. He then said “Hame Gareebhi Hatana Chahiye”. I thought we elected him for that very purpose. Huh! Click!

Even if it is Rajiv Gandhi, with the REMOTE in my hand, I AM THE KING!

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6 responses to “I am The King!

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